Amara…and me…in dance therapy.
She comes into the group room and makes a beeline to the
seat directly next to me. She has
never done this – it seems important, significant. I notice her breathe, its sharp, shallow, tense. The skin on her lips, dry and
cracked. Her eyes are, wide and
tense. She is grinding her teeth I
note to myself, she has not done this in dance therapy.
My body and I imagine my ‘limbic brain’ sense her
energy. I invite everyone in the
group to breathe. I make eye
contact with Amara. As I do so her
breath slows and her muscles soften.
We ‘the group’ continue. Again, I hear, teeth grinding, sharp shallow breathe, hands
pressing, rubbing the velveteen fabric of her pants. Her anxiety is again heightened.
She leaves the group room…to take a ‘break’. However, not without ‘first’ asking with
a forced tense smile. All along
her eyes dart, her hands twitch and her breath once again reverts to sharp,
shallow rhythms.
Amara returns to the group – her teacher tells me – Amara is
excited to share her holiday vacation experience. Would you like to share with the group Amara? “Yes, I went
to see the Adventures of Tin-Tin…and enjoyed it”. Forced smile, tense body, sharp, quick breathes.
We begin to move.
In dance therapy, we start with a general warm-up, much like
a check-in but with our bodies.
During this time we begin to notice and pay attention to our bodily felt
experience, in a conscious way. We
observe what is tense, what hurts, where are we holding energy in our
bodies?
In this group we start with deep breathes. Then begin to move our heads up, down,
laterally, side to side, then look left, right…look to the neighbor on each
side of you.
I look at Amara, tense face, forced smile, like what someone
told her a smile might look like, its not her smile. I have seen a real Authentic Amara smile. I look at Amara again, lips drawn
back above the top row of her teeth, eyes tense and wide, then they constrict,
squint. We look back and forth at
our neighbors several times and each time I see Amara, I see this same Amara. I mirror/reflect this ‘smiling Amara’. Yet I know, I feel, the anger, the sad,
the anxious, the frustrated, the enraged…Amara.
I look at her one last time, same face. Only this time I slowly let my face, my
muscles melt, my eyes soften, my cheeks relax, and my mouth draws down. As this happens she too, begins to let
go, her eyes fill with tears and sadness – the anxiety gives way to a deep
sorrow – we, together hold this she, me and the group – I see you, we see you.
We continue as she cries, the group holds hands, in our
reaching out and holding one another we begin to sway – to hold each other through
touch and in rhythm. Amara and the
group feel different – something has been transformed, moved, worked through.
She, like everyone needs a hand to hold – a body, a face, a
person to be emotionally responsive, mirror, hold and witness those burdensome,
unwanted feelings, of sadness, sorrow, anger, isolation, fear.
Now we press our weight into each other’s hands in the
circle. I feel her strength to
both give and hold – she presses the whole of her body and weight into my hand
and I hold her…we sway back and forth again – she comes closer to the ground,
closer to the Earth closer to me closer to the group.
We hold elbows and lean back – using the strength of the whole
circle to balance. She quietly
tells me she can’t…that’s okay want to sit and watch first?
“Yes” and, she does.
Then says, “I’m ready!”
And she is, ready.
She holds her peers elbow and me and trusts that she will be held, then
leans back…and balances with the rest of the group.
At the end of the session she says that was scary, being “vulnerable”. Her peer defines this word as
weak. Then revises the meaning and
says its when you are out there in the open. A beautiful metaphor for this group; for this girl who when she
finally let her body be held looked me in the eyes and smiled a real Authentic
Amara smile.
Now, that is limbic resonance and revision as I see it in
the Dance Therapy experience. Do
you have thoughts or ideas about how I have laid it out here?
Or, even instances of this limbic meeting between yourself
and client in sessions and want to talk about it, swap ideas about what the
experience feels like within you?
For example, I am curious about what therapist/clinician/healer feels
and observes in themselves and the other in these instances of limbic resonance/meeting. How might you know you are resonating? Are there specific sensations that
arise during the moment of resonance/attunement/revision?
Excitedly awaiting discussion...
Yours,
Twitter: @embodiedtherapy
There is beautiful work being done nonverbally here - perhaps its the most effective way to "resonate" as you say. I can't think of a better way to express the experience. Thank you for sharing how wonderful therapy can be.
ReplyDeleteMarianne Hughes